What a lacklustre performance

– this is quite literally what I’ve just been thinking to myself, reflecting on my evening. It’s not too often I have one fully on my lonesome, and when they do happen it’s usually a blur of productive positivity, blissful relaxing, and soothing quiet. Take yesterday for instance; I managed to update my linkedin and reed profiles (not linking them here, but feel free to let me know if you fancy hiring me), add a little to my ‘about me’ and ‘this blog’ pages, added a picture, made dinner, tidied up. I even managed to go to the gym and do a food-shop.

Tonight, in comparison, the most productive thing thus far, has been having a bath and remembering to eat. Hooray for adulthood. It’s definitely all in my head then, all external interaction has been virtually the same, other than the gym. And weather. Yeah you could argue that the rush of positive endorphins lasted the entire evening and aided clear thinking and creativity…except I’d done half the shit before I went there. I didn’t even want to go, the only reason I ended up there is ‘cos I was already dressed for it.

am a believer that the way you dress subtly alters the way you think. For instance, if I’m not sat down relaxing I will always have a pair of trainers on (light as possible), in which I will potter about, doing a fair few things at once. And I’m happy like that, most of the time. But despite this, there do come days where one just…slows down. Goes a bit numb. Times when simply having dinner and getting washed feels like an achievement. Like tonight.

Yes I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself. But I’m also pretty pissed off.

I came in from work full of good intentions, a smile on my face, ready to do something that would positively impact my life or mood. And I didn’t. I wasted my night.

Tomorrow will be better.

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