Millennial Drama

I’m willing to bet my right testicle that you’ll be aware of, have read, seen, sniffed, or heard of an article concerning millennials and what they love/like/hate/are destroying. Or something like that. I genuinely love them. It’s a fact. They’re great.

A ‘millennial’ is the generic handle given to someone born roughly between 1980 and 1995. According to Wikipedia, anyway. You get a pretty broad spectrum in there, but mostly, the thing binding these people (hereafter reffered to as ‘us’, even though I have issue with catch-all terms, probably a shortcoming of individualism, but whatever) is the fact that they grew during some of the most impacting technological advancements. We grew up as certain technologies did, we remember dial-up, a time before Google, we only got mobile phones as we reached adult-, or early-, adulthood. There are loads of stuff that happened during our formative years. Loads.

I don’t know if we’re seen as a popular (read: easy) target for news outlets, reputable or not, but we seem to get a bad rap. Apparently we’re inherently lazy, yet are killing off golf, retailers, the NFL, the 9-5 workday, Canadian Tourism, banks, the wine cork and crowdfunding, to name but a few (thanks buzzfeed, which we’re probably going to kill soon). I find the last one pretty confusing, personally, as I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t exist in the same format without us, the generation raised on the internet.

We’re also entitled. We want everything right now, handed to us on an organic platter. We’re mercenaries, switching jobs to get a better title or more money, or an office closer to that taco place down the road. Please not if any office near any Wahaca restaurant is after a lazy, entitled millennial who occasionally writes shit, please, get in touch.

I’ll agree to the switching job thing. Definitely. I haven’t stayed anywhere longer than 2 years. My first switch came about when I fell out with my boss over holiday entitlement. The second I found something with more prospects for advancements, better training and more sociable hours. The third when I moved to the other end of the country. Just the sheer effort of moving jobs so often debunks the ‘lazy’ claim, I think.

I love as well the stuff millennials are, from popular belief, meant to like. My old company actually did a video on it:

I’m not in it, just so you know. Probably hard at work being a lazy, spoilt, entitled brat somewhere. Drinking a latte. Out of an avocado. That’s an ironic thing now.

I’m not sure I have a point with what I’m writing tonight, probably just adding to the host of ‘Millennials are….’ posts out there. I just genuinely think it’s funny what people say about us. Some of it is baffling. Most of it is hilarious.

But we are the future, however you treat us.

Stay tuned to find out if millennials are vengeful, what happens next may shock you!


pstscrpt. I’m sorry for the phrasing above, I really hate those fucking irritating clickbait articles with taglines like ‘What happens next will shock you’, ‘You’ll never look at x the same way’, and ’10 reasons why x is y’. Horrible little arsey things. To say nothing of pretty much any social media post that starts with the word ‘when’.

pstpstscrpt. Fully aware I linked a buzzfeed article. I know I’m a hypocrite. Pshah.

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